10/10

"We'll be placin' memories in frames, invitin' people 'round to stay and always owning up to things, to things. 'Cause, after all, I guess it all depends upon the people you choose and where you're from. If so, I've been so lucky, so far, it's outrageous. I won't complain (no), give myself a little credit since I dealt with all the pain. Yeah, I turned superhero. I'm comin' in Bruce Wayne.
Yeah, I did it again, I did it again (yeah, I did it again) but this time I took control and turned my shit 'round. Sometimes you gotta cut a bitch out. I'm livin' again, yeah, I'm livin', I'm livin' again (I, uh-oh, yeah) Yeah, whoa, yeah"
- Rex Orange County - "10/10"

It seems that every thirtysomething I know is into trancey lo-fi electronic music. I don't know what this means, honestly. My musical tastes have gotten crazy, blissed out, wildly erratic. I haven't listened to electronic music in my life, and now my office sounds like a W Hotel lobby 24/7. I wake up and make breakfast for the family and I'm telling Alexa to "play Ribbons by Bibio." I go to the backyard and start blogging and working and my laptop plays Vaporware playlists. I go to bed with a head full of steam and ears full of Erased Tapes.


Maybe it's the unreality of the world we're living in? Nothing is really real so why should the music be? Maybe now that the future is going to be very different than I thought just a few months ago it's safe to listen to a future that will never happen?


I don't know what this means, honestly.


And that's the rub. I've always prided myself on being a few steps ahead but now things are moving so fast that I can't keep up. Whatever doomsday scenario I'd concocted in my head all these years has come to pass but not even remotely like I thought and so most of my grand plan fixes are currently DOA. I think I need to start volunteering somewhere.


Or maybe I don't. Maybe I just need to sit right here and do all this thinking because maybe I won't ever get the chance again. This is definitely a once in a lifetime experience, so why waste it with the same old runrunrunrunrunrunrunr thinking that got us in this mess in the first place?


But people are hurting.


Maybe I need to volunteer?